


The Logical Life of Tex

by bladeoftheshadows11



Category: Original Work
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-09
Updated: 2014-09-06
Packaged: 2018-02-12 10:29:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2106291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bladeoftheshadows11/pseuds/bladeoftheshadows11
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything in Theodore's life was analyzed and reacted to in the most logical fashion. In fact, everything in his life was calculated and logical. That is, until he met Tyler."Tex's" logic became illogical as his life completely flipped.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Illogical Beginnings

My full name is Theodore Julius Xavier. I am of the male sex. My sexual preference is unknown and will probably stay that way for some time. The date of my birth is the 19th of July and my current age is 16 years and 11 months, exactly. I have short, dark blonde hair that is a combination of straight and curly locks; on my left side I have a side part and I always leave a small piece uncut so that the lock now goes well past my shoulder and I tied it with two red and black tribal bead lengths and two pure white dove feathers. On my right side is where my bangs begin, swooping down and over to the left side, and I also let a lock grow, but this one only curled neatly on my shoulder. Yes, it does look rather lopsided, but I think it’s fairly debonair.

I wear rectangular prescription shades—yes, shades—that completely hide my eyes, both shape and color, but behind them my eyes were a slightly narrowed almond shape and were a strange swirl of light blue and teal. My skin was unblemished—except for the birthmark on my left hip in the shape of a perfect circle and the mole just under the corner of my right eye which was actually two moles that made a small heart shape—and baby soft, the color of vanilla ice cream. I have a height of 5 feet and 9 inches and a weight of 148 pounds and I carry what my mother would call a swimmer’s build. To me it always just seems shy of anorexic. My favorite color is the silvery shade of mercury; my favorite music genre is metal; my favorite food is basically any food consisting a high percentage of sugar—I have terrible sweet tooth; I have a strong love for coffee; I also love dogs; one place I would like to visit is Greece.

At this point, I am sure you are wondering I am describing myself in detail and the answer is simple and quite logical. It is only right to have full knowledge of the main character of a novel, or any piece of literature, lest you wonder why the character acted in such a way during a particular event. I believe the only exception to that would be mystery and thriller genre in literature. I am, in fact, the main character of this story and thought it rather fitting to begin with a description of myself and, once I continue, my daily life.

My household consist of five peoples; my mother Vanessa, my father Charles, my older brother—18 years and 2 months—Caesar, my older sister—19 years and 1 day—Susan, and myself. Yes, Susan’s birthday was yesterday. Yes, I am the youngest in the family. We have a German Shepherd named Bruce and a Siamese named Alice. Our house is two stories with six bedrooms and three bathrooms—not counting the master en suite bathroom—a den, a basement, and an attic. My bedroom was the den by choice; it was done to my liking: in blacks, silvers, greys, and whites. My carpet was black, the walls dark grey. My bed was pushed against the farthest wall from the door; the frame was black, my comforter was grey and silver, and my sheets and pillow case were white. Everything else I owned varied in these colors.

This September I will be returning to high school for my senior year. I very much so look forward to going back to being the weird loner outcast kid who everyone avoided because he spoke in a weird monotone. Yes, I speak in monotone. Not my fault; I have a birth defect that made whichever nerve that controls the emotion hormones in my brain shrink considerably. Crap like that happens when you’re born during an earthquake. I consider myself lucky; most people end up retarded with their brain all scrambled up. Well, either way I’d still be made fun of, but this way is better because it hurts considerably less. Besides, I preferred it that way; I liked being alone. Made things nice and quiet. I’d hoped that my summer would be like that. Of course, that’s not what happened because having a normal life is clearly not what I’m destined to have.

~oOo~

“Theodore, love, why don’t you go out for a bit? Get some fresh air. It’s not healthy to stay all cooped up in your room.”

I glanced up from my book to find my mother in my doorway at the bottom of the stairs, her face lined with worry. It wasn’t a good look for her. My mother was one of those ditzy blonde-looking women, but though she was quite blonde—where do you think I get it from—she definitely wasn’t ditzy. And she was really pretty; golden blonde tresses, sky blue eyes, naturally athletic build, and a perfect smile. My mother could’ve been a model, and yet here she is. A waste, in my opinion.

I sighed and marked my page before setting my book down. “Mom, are you confused about which child you’re talking to? Don’t forget I’m an introvert, please. It’d be unhealthy for me to go outside. Look, I’m as healthy as a horse.”

She frowned and put her hands on her hips. “It wasn’t a suggestion. Outside. Now.”

“What am I going to do out there?”

“Go to the park; sit on the porch.” She glared. “I want you out for at least an hour. Not a minute less, you understand me?”

I pursed my lips and she took that as a yes, nodding at me with a smile before marching up the stairs. Getting up with a sigh, I pulled on my Vans and grabbed my keys. My question was legit and completely logical; I didn’t go out much and as a result, I didn’t know where anything was except for the park down the street that I passed every morning during the school year.

Outside the sun was shining hard, but a nice cool breeze swept through, balancing out the weather. I frowned, looked around, and turned for the park, which was about ten minutes from my house. There were sure to be a lot of people there, but it was a large park and there was some possibility of me finding a secluded area to hang around for an hour. It took me a minute or so, but I found a slightly shaded spot under a tree.

Not as many people as I thought were going to be there, were actually there. Mostly hackneyed-looking mothers with their children, joggers going along the pathways, and the elderly playing chess or checkers. In the distance, I could see a couple of guys tossing around what could either be a Frisbee or a football. Around my area, it was peaceful and quiet. I sighed and leaned my head on the tree trunk, looking up at the sky.

I’d been sitting there for approximately ten minutes when I heard barking and turned around in time to get an armful of golden retriever. It woofed and began to lick at my face.  After owning what was probably the friendliest German Shepherd in history, I was quite used to being slobbered over by a dog nearly my size, but I wasn’t used to someone running up to me all flustered and apologizing profusely. I pushed the retriever’s muzzle away from my face and took a good look at the owner. My jaw dropped in shock, which was something.

It was Tyler Mckenly; star quarterback and captain of the football team at my school. If there was ever a more clichéd version of the typical high school jock, it was him. Surpassing 6 feet in height, golden blonde hair the curled just below his ears, bright baby blue eyes, perfect tan, and an even more perfect smile, ranked top five in the school, and boyfriend to the head cheerleader. He was a to-be senior, like me. Girls from all grades fainted at the sight of him and all the guys wished they could be him. Well, most anyway. I didn’t. Way too much attention and way too many people giving it.

He cut off his endless babble of apologies and squinted hard at me. “Hey…aren’t you that one kid? The one who can’t talk right or something?”

“If you are referring to my inability to put emotion into my voice or facial expression, then yes. Though I am not _that kid;_ my name is Theodore Xavier.”

He stuck his hand out. “Tyler.”

I stared at his hand until he awkwardly put it down. “I know who you are. I highly doubt that there is a person attending our school who doesn’t know who you are.”

“I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.”

I gave him a droll stare. “Sarcasm is an unnecessary form of humor and I would rather not act on it.”

He gave me a confused grin. “Then you… _weren’t_ being sarcastic?”

I sighed. “No.”

His face brightened. “Ok then.” A moment of silence passed and—shockingly enough—a vein in my temple throbbed.

“Quit staring at me. And why are you still here?”

Tyler shrugged. “Dunno. I don’t have anything better to do and Shelly seems to like you.”

Shelly? I looked down at the dog wiggling in my lap, occasionally releasing a small bark or licking my face. “…You named your dog Shelly?”

He grinned. “My older sister did, actually. Her real name is Sheila, but that name obviously sucks so I shortened it as best as I could and ended up with Shelly. Ironically enough, that’s the only thing she’ll respond to if I call her…”

I ran a hand through Shelly’s soft golden fur, smiling softly when she woofed and stretched to lap at my chin, while Tyler went on and on about her. He suddenly trailed off and I looked up to see him staring at me with an unreadable expression. I blinked and frowned at him.

“Again with the staring.”

He blinked hard and shook his head, looking away. “Sorry. It’s just…I dunno…well, you were smiling.”

I arched a brow at him, inwardly smirking at his awkwardness. “I might have a hard time showing my emotions, but I am human and I do have them, you know.”

He blushed furiously. “I—I know. I’m sorry.”

My vague sense of amusement faded and I frowned at him. “Stop apologizing so much.”

“Sor—.” His face darkened and he cleared his throat. “Yeah okay. I’ll try.”

I sighed and glanced at my watch, wondering about the time. My eyes widened and I carefully calculated the hours, then blinked at the realization that I’ve been out for nearly two hours. Most of that time was spent talking to Tyler. Well, mom will be happy at the least and maybe she’ll leave me alone. Sucking in a sharp breath, I dislodged Shelly from my lap and stood. Tyler also stood, towering over me; Shelly barked and danced between our legs.

“You’re leaving?” Tyler said, his shoulders slumping.

I blinked at his somewhat sad tone. “Yes; it is time for me to go home.”

He looked away. “Oh…” An awkward silence emitted and I was about to walk away when his expression suddenly brightened and he looked up. “Hey, meet me here tomorrow, will you? I’ll bring Shelly too.”

I scrunched my nose at the thought of having to go outside again, but noted the pleading, almost desperate look on his face. “Why?”

He shrugged, trying for nonchalance, but his eyes darkened, begging me. “I dunno. You seem pretty cool…and you don’t…” His face went red. “You don’t try to suck up to me like other people do, just to be my ‘friend’.” He made air quotations with a depressed, yet disgusted look on his face.

At that moment, it hit me. Just like me, Tyler didn’t have any friends. He had admirers, stalkers, fans, and the occasional lover if the rumors were to be believed—rumors were unconventional anyway—but he had no real, true friends. He was lonely. I personally preferred to be that way, but guys like Tyler needed…support, someone to have his back; someone to laugh and play around with. I wouldn’t do all that, but the least I could do was talk to the guy for an hour or so. Mom thinks I should be more social, well here you go.

Tyler had been staring at me hopefully as I thought, ignoring Shelly as she butted her head on his leg. He looked away when I looked up, pretending to watch the people milling about nonchalantly. I snorted at his attempt and he glanced at me shyly. I rolled my eyes at him.

“Okay, Tyler. But only tomorrow.” I grimaced. “I hate being outside.”

He’d had a huge grin on his face but it lessened with the growth of his confusion. “Then why are you out here in the first place?”

Why, it’s elementary my dear Watson. “My mom.”

He nodded understandingly. “Ah, the law of the mother.”

I hummed absently, glancing again at my watch. “I will see you tomorrow then, Tyler.”

Once again, a huge grin stretched across his face. “See you!”

He waved enthusiastically as I began to walk away and I returned it with a much calmer one. Upon arriving home, I tried to sneak to my room, but my mom caught me just as I reached out for the knob.

“Two hours and thirty minutes.”

I winced. “Twenty of those minutes contribute to how long it took me to walk to the park and back.

She stalked towards me, eyes glittering. “Who’d you meet? Knowing you, the only way wouldn’t of been back exactly on the dot was if you were distracted and nothing distracts you better than some person annoying you with chatter.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “Don’t act like you know me, woman.”

She grinned at me smugly. “I’m your mother; of course I know you.”

If I didn’t tell her, I know she’d nag me until I did. I sighed and glared at the wall over her shoulder. “Tyler.” If I was able to put emotion into my voice, the name would have plenty venom behind it.

She clapped her hands together with an ear-piercing shriek, then winked at me. “A boy, eh? Is he cute?” Both she and my father were painfully aware in my lack of attraction to any sex and at this point wouldn’t care if it was a boy or girl, as long as it was somebody I was interested in.

“Going by my observations of the constant reaction of girls blushing and swooning over him, I hypothesize that yes, he is rather attractive.”

“Oh? He goes to your school then?”

“Yes. He is on the football team, actually.”

She wilted. “Aw.”

If there was anything I actually had strong emotions for, it was football. Or any sport, really. But I particularly loathed football. It’s all anyone around this town ever talks about. A needlessly complicated game of muscled-brained testosterone monkeys throwing a ball around and jumping each other. Reading books were so much more productive; all sports did was cause you physical pain and a much unneeded loss of brains cells. And high school football! Around here, a man’s whole life could depend on one complete or incomplete pass. And for what? Just so you could win and rub it in the opposing team’s face? Pathetic.

Mom sighed and petted my hair gently, smoothing down a particularly unruly curl. “Okay, baby. I won’t bug you anymore. And I won’t force you out anymore; you did good.”

Damn. I frowned. “Actually, I’m going back to the park tomorrow.”

A smile lit up her face. “Really? Why?

I scowled and opened my door, mumbling a vague excuse before hurrying down the stairs, making sure to close the door. Once inside the familiar seclusion of my room, lying comfortably on my bed, I began to think of tomorrow and my meeting with Tyler. Just the thought of having to go outside two days in a row had me shuddering. Out of all the people in the park, Shelly had to go and jump on me. She couldn’t of had gone to chase after the Frisbee/football or a kid or something. And Tyler had to linger and start up a conversation. But all this still didn’t explain why he would choose to continue our conversation for tomorrow…with _me._ With a start, I sat up, realizing that we hadn’t set a time—I might not have wanted to go, but we already agreed to meet—but relaxed, figuring that he meant the same time as today. That’s usually how it goes, right?

I slowly began to think less of meeting Tyler at the park and more of Tyler himself. I had this weird ability; somehow, my inability to reveal my own emotions to others made me more sensitive to theirs and from Tyler I could sense a lot of loneliness and depression. As I said—guys like Tyler need support, I could only hope that he didn’t plan on making me his support, because tomorrow was the last I wanted to see of him until school started. With that thought, I rolled over and went to sleep.

~oOo~

“Oh, Theo, honey, take Bruce with you, would you? He was whining like crazy yesterday when you left.”

I stopped halfway out the door and turned back, removing the Pop Tart from my mouth and whistling for Bruce. The huge German Shepherd came rushing immediately, as if he was waiting for me to call him. He yipped like a puppy and ran in circles around me. I snorted at his antics and stepped outside, squinting my eyes in the sunlight, and slammed the door shut when Bruce ran past. He was running in the opposite direction of the park and I rolled my eyes.

“Come on, Bruce. We’re going to the park, you lump.”

He barked and skidded to a stop, turning around and bounding towards me as I headed down the sidewalk to the park. It was pretty uneventful on the way there, other than Bruce bullying me for my Pop Tart. I broke half and tossed it to him, smiling a little when he leaped up and caught it midair. Reaching the park, I had to make Bruce heel when he tried to run off to the sound of children screeching happily. The big brute was a pup at heart, I swear. 

It wasn’t hard to relocate the tree I had been resting at—given that all the trees around it looked the same—and I immediately saw Tyler standing near it with his hands shoved into the pockets of his cargos, Shelly sitting at his feet and wagging her tail. I paused and took a good look at him, trying to figure out what made everyone go crazy over him.

He was both physically and academically better than the average teen. He had to be at least 6’4, if not taller. His hair was blonde like mine, but where as mine was darker, nearly a light brown, his was so bright, as if his mom had taken sun rays and wove them together and put them on his head. Though that _was_ completely and utterly impossible. His eyes were wide and open, a bright yet soft blue that shined when he smiled. His skin was perfectly tan and he had no excesses of it, stretching tight over his muscles. He had a chiseled jaw and a nose sculptors could only dream of sculpting. His personality was pretty easy-going but I knew—from games he won and by his grades—that he could get serious when he needed to be. His emotions showed easily on his face and he blushed and apologized a lot. He was also the most popular guy in the whole school. Is that all girls saw in him? His looks and reputation? His position on the football team? Did any of them comment on how good his grades were or how he was somehow outgoing and shy at the same time?

Shelly suddenly barked, noticing me, and began running for me, catching Tyler’s attention. I saw him smile at me, but then I was tackled to the ground by a golden, furry flying projectile. Shelly yipped and began licking at my face. To the side, Bruce whined and tilted his head to the side, unsure whether to save me or join in. I laughed when Shelly licked a particularly sensitive spot near my jaw and pushed her muzzle away. I beckoned Bruce to me and grabbed his muzzle, pulling him closer to Shelly.

“Shelly, meet my dog, Bruce the German Shepherd. Bruce, meet Shelly the Golden Retriever.” I looked up when Tyler crouched beside Bruce. “And Tyler the human.”

I had a brief thought of Tyler the Creator, that one rapper, then shook the thought away, watching as Tyler got familiar with the ever friendly Bruce.  He shook Bruce’s ruff, grinning when the dog’s tail started thumping harder on the ground and Bruce licked his face, then caught me looking and blushed. I looked away and turned my attention to Shelly, who had begun butting her head on my chin. I grabbed her head between my hands and looked her in the eyes with a serious face.

“Dog, stop it.”

She wiggled and pushed forward to lick my chin. I snorted and ran a hand through her fur, the familiar action—if not with her exactly—easing me and I relaxed into the grass, glad that I wore a long, but thin sleeved shirt and jeans. After a moment, I could feel Tyler looking at me, but I didn’t turn to him, letting Shelly have all my attention. I was a lot more comfortable with dogs; humans were a whole other matter and I wasn’t sure how to be…friendly with them. My body tingled as Tyler’s eyes raked down it and I had the strongest urge to fiddle with my clothes nervously. I resisted, frowning. I didn’t _fidget._ Technically, I never was one to really get nervous, either. I felt comfortable with how I looked and how I dressed.

I liked my hairstyle—even if it was lopsided—and wouldn’t change it for the world. My face was always blank and that could get weird sometimes, if someone stared to long, but why were they staring so long in the first place. I usually wore t-shirts and jeans and today was no exception, if for the simple fact that the shirt I was wearing was rather plain when the rest had a band name or logo or something of the like on it. Plus the shirt was striped black and red; it matched my beads.

I looked up quickly and felt a small tingle of triumph when I caught Tyler’s gaze. He blinked and looked away, blushing. Hmm. Wonder why he blushes so much. I gently pushed Shelly away so that I could sit up and tapped Tyler’s shoulder. He turned back to me and I arched a brow at him.

“So…what are we going to do? You wanted to meet up today, so I am assuming you had something planned?”

“Umm…” He scratched the back of his neck. “Actually, I don’t. When I asked you to meet me, it was kind of an impulse. Sorry.”

I blinked. “It’s fine. I was only asking because the time would have passed much faster if we weren’t just sitting here, allowing the dogs to lick our faces.”

He frowned at me. “Don’t you ever stop and smell the roses?”

“As I refuse to be outside unless there was a specific reason, no I do not ‘stop to smell the roses’ or whatever.” I blinked. “I don’t think any roses grow around here.”

“It’s a figure of speech.” He said softly. “It means that sometimes it’s okay to take it easy, to just relax and let things happen. Enjoy the little things in life.”

I frowned. “What’s the point in that?”

His brow furrowed. “I…I never really thought about it. But I guess…because if no one ever stopped to enjoy the little things, stuff that seem so insignificant at the time will disappear and then…only then will you begin to miss it and by that point there’s nothing you can do about it.” His cheeks heated. “That’s just what I think, anyway.”

“And it was well said.” I looked away, up at the sky. “No one ever tells me what they think, other than my mother, because they believe that I won’t understand. Because they think I have no emotions whatsoever. But that’s not true. I do, but it’s hard for me to express them. Thank you for telling me your opinion, even though I can’t say that I agree fully. But I do indeed understand.”

“Better you disagree than think me stupid. People expect certain stuff out of me, because I’m popular, and when I deviate from those expectations, I’m somehow all of a sudden a bad guy. It’s tough, sometimes.”

Petting Shelly so that she would stop butting my chin with her head, I nodded slowly, glancing at him. His expression was sincere, as was his voice. That’s exactly why I preferred to be alone. You won’t have to try hard to meet someone’s expectations if there’s no one expecting something out of you. I think the only person who has any confidence in me as mom. But she’s as strange as they get.

Tyler didn’t speak again, too immersed in his seemingly morose thoughts. His brow was furrowed and he was gnawing on his bottom lip. I didn’t know what to say to console him. It wasn’t my forte. So instead I sat there until he blinked and turned to me with a bright smile.

“Hey, let’s go get some ice cream.”

”Ice cream?” I tilted my head at him. That was a rather sudden change. 

He stood, dusting off his pants and holding his hand out towards me. “Hell, yeah. It’s hot out here and some ice cream would be great for this weather.”

I grabbed his hand, blinking a bit. His palm wasn’t as calloused as I thought it would be. It was neither rough nor soft, but a certain mixture of the two. A palm well taken care of, but knew hard work. Strangely enough, it fit him. His hand swallowed mine’s whole. I wasn’t surprised by that. I had small, dainty hands with long, thin fingers. The hands of a pianist or artist, mom always said. I thought they were the hands of a girl.

It took Tyler almost nothing at all to lift me up. He actually used too much strength and I crashed into his chest from the momentum. I gained my balance quickly, and took a step back, but he was already blushing and stuttering.

“S-sorry. Don’t know my own strength sometimes.”

“Understandable. Because of my height, I look more than I actually weigh.”

“I’ll say.”

Sometime during this, the dogs had ran a bit of a distance away, playing with each other. It was a good thing this week wasn’t mine’s to wash Bruce, because he was a bit muddy. Okay, more than a bit. Who knew dogs could get dirty in such a little amount of time. Utterly ridiculous. Tyler and I called our dogs to us respectively and we began our trek down the street to the ice cream vendor that was always there during the summer, according to Tyler.

At first, I was surprised he was willing to go anywhere with me. But when I asked him, he smiled a bit sadly and ruffled my hair.    

“Why wouldn’t I want to go anywhere with you?”

“You do have a reputation to uphold.”

He stared at me for a second. “I’d rather have you as my only friend than spending all my time and energy being someone I’m not.”

“I highly doubt that my acquaintance is well desired.”

“I beg to differ.” He said quietly after a moment of silence.

I didn’t know what to say to that, and so we spent the rest of the way to the ice cream vendor in silence. Usually, I wasn’t bothered by silence, but this time it was rather unnerving. I couldn’t exactly identify why. Fortunately, the vendor wasn’t too far and we didn’t have to endure the uncomfortable silence for too long. The dogs were ahead of us, barking and yipping happily. We had to call them back to us, once again, when we reached the vendor.

Since ice cream wasn’t something that I usually ate, as you usually had to go out to the store to get it when it wasn’t summer and wouldn’t just be stocked in the house like other sweets we had. Thanks to mom of course. She was the only one who understood the extent of my sweet tooth. I only occasionally had ice cream on birthdays and I usually didn’t know what type it was, so Tyler had to explain to me the different types of ice cream the vendor had. Then he had to explain to me why the vendor had so many different types. It would seem that not everyone liked every flavor, so the vendor had to stock up. I didn’t really understand that. If you liked ice cream, then you liked ice cream. People were so difficult. So I asked Tyler what his favorite was.

“Well, I like a lot of different types of ice creams.” He looked down at me, considering. “If I had to have a favorite though, it would be cookies-n-cream.”

I nodded and faced the vendor. “I’ll have that, then.”

The man arched a brow. “Alright. The same for you then, eh big guy?”

Tyler nodded and handed the man two crisp dollar bills. I frowned and stopped him before he let go of the money.

“I can pay for myself, Tyler.”

He shook his head. “Nah, it’s just a dollar. Besides, I’m the one who dragged you over here, so I might as well.”

I blinked and slowly let go of his hand. The man took the money and went about to make our ice cream. I stared at the ground while he did it. Did Tyler do that to be nice or did he expect me to return the favor one day? It didn’t seem like it. He made it seem like an apology for not only making me go to the ice cream vendor, but also for this whole day. So maybe he did understand my aversion to being outside. Not many did.  

The ice cream man handed us our ice creams and we walked away. Bruce immediately began to punk me for my ice cream, but I ignored him. Pop tarts were one thing, ice cream and any other sweeter than sweet was all mine. I licked my ice cream, humming in appreciation. Cookies-n-cream was a flavor I’ve never had before, I realized. It was pretty good. I glanced over at Tyler in time to see him take a bite from his ice cream and a euphoric expression spread across his face. I hid a smile by licking my ice cream again. This flavor was clearly his favorite. Or maybe he had a sweet tooth like me.

We walked around, eating our ice cream, and this time the silence was actually really comfortable. It was very peaceful, as I usually preferred my day to be. If it could be like this every time I went outside, then I would have no problem leaving my room. Except, it wasn’t. Maybe Tyler’s presence had something to do with it. Maybe it was just me. Maybe it was just one of those days. I wasn’t taking the chance again.

Somehow, we ended up walking near my house and I told Tyler so. Since we were so close, I might as well go home. Our ice cream was done by this point and now we weren’t doing much but walking and watching our dogs chase each other ahead of us. Tyler glanced at me in surprise when I told him that my house wasn’t too far and that I would like to go home.

“Ok. I guess it’d be pushing it if I asked you to meet me here tomorrow?”

“A bit, yes.”

He sighed. “Well, I do in fact enjoy your company, Tex. I wouldn’t mind hanging out with you again, if you allow it.”

I blinked at the sudden moniker. “Tex?”

A crooked grin, not quite a smirk, lit up his face. “Theodore Xavier. Tex. Get used to it.”

And that was how I became known as Tex.

And that was how my life went from rather mundane to…nothing I ever expected. 


	2. Unexpected Coincidences

The next time I saw Tyler wasn’t until a week later. Mom’s birthday was in a few days and Dad was too lazy and uncaring to actually pick something out for a present, so he dragged me off to the mall to so that I could pick something out for her. It didn’t bother me; he’s been doing this since I turned twelve and could apparently understand mom better than he did. Or rather, understood the not-so subtle hints she dropped whenever her birthday was near.

Every year she pretended like she didn’t know what was in the box and he pretended like he actually took the effort to buy it for her. What he didn’t know was that Mom knew he was doing it. She began to guess after ‘buying’ her something she wanted the fourth time in a row. I told her the truth when she asked me, as I didn’t see the point in lying. If she was already guessing, then she would eventually get it and telling her the truth upfront made everything easier for everybody.

Back to what I was saying, however, Dad would usually trail after me as I browsed and would pay for whatever I chose once the time came. This year she needed more kitchen supplies. Her old ones were getting old and she was beginning to leave Home and Kitchen mags everywhere. It was weird browsing the store with Dad. He could’ve cared less—it was in his nature—but I couldn’t help but wonder if the women staring at us thought we were a gay couple. Then I shook the stupid and illogical thought from my head.

I also managed to convince him to buy me art supplies. Well, blackmailed would be the better word. I didn’t draw much—not as much as I used to, at least—so usually I would buy whatever I had the least of and it would last me a good while for whenever I did get the urge to draw or paint something. I had the weirdest feeling that I would be drawing a lot this school year, so I wanted to stock up on everything.

So I managed to find everything for mom in Marshalls and what I needed at Michael’s inside and Dad paid for it and we were on the way to the food court when I saw him. Tyler, that is. He was sitting at one of the tables surrounded by his friends, his arm around his girlfriend. I couldn’t ever remember her name, but that wasn’t an unusual one. Very rarely did I remember someone’s name unless I’ve talked to them a few times. They were insignificant if I didn’t take the effort to speak to them more than once. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever spoken to Tyler’s girlfriend or any of his friends. No matter.

Dad kept going into the food court, so I had to follow him. I clutched the bag full of my art supplies tighter in my grip. Everything would go well if Tyler didn’t look up and notice me. I didn’t really want to talk to him anymore; for whatever reason he made me feel different than other people did. Maybe it was because he didn’t treat me weirdly. 

With my luck, however, he did look up just as I passed by. He had a smile on his face that I knew was fake because when he gave a genuine smile, the left side of his mouth crooked up a bit more than the right side. His fake smile dropped in surprise when he saw me, only to immediately be replaced with a real one a moment later. He looked like he was about to get up and come talk to me, but I shook my head subtly and his expression deflated. A pang of guilt—very rare—ran through me and I grimaced. Fine.

“Later, at the park.” I mouthed to him. He nodded, grin returning.

None of his friends noticed and he joined back into their conversation without a hitch, though he looked considerably happier. I shook my head and caught up with Dad. Can’t believe I agreed to meet up with him again. What the hell was he doing to me?

When we got home, dad immediately rushed off to hide mom’s present before she saw him carrying it. He was literally the only one who didn’t realize that mom knew. I trudged downstairs to my room to put away my art supplies and change into something that didn’t smell like cheap grease from the food court. And I had to take a shower. I smelled greasy and my skin felt nasty. I hated food courts. In order to wash my hair, I had to take out my beads and feathers. When I got out the shower, they weren’t there on the counter where I put them.

With a frown, I wrapped my towel around my waist and began to search for them. They weren’t in the bathroom, so I padded to my room. They weren’t there either. I got dressed quickly and went upstairs, with my hair down. Without my beads and feathers separating it, my extra-long lock of hair wasn’t as noticeable unless you were looking for it. Well, it kind of was still noticeable, but not as much. I wanted my beads and feathers. Upstairs I found mom in the kitchen, humming innocently.

“Mom, did you take my beads and feathers?”

She looked up at me. “Yes, why?”

“Because I need them. Why did you take them?”

“Because you wear them all the time. Try something new and different today. You look so cute without them.” 

I grit my teeth. “So I can assume that you’re not giving them back to me today.”

“Nope.” She chirped.

A growl rumbling in my chest, I stormed away. Dammit. How was I supposed to go outside without my beads and feathers? I could blow off Tyler, but that would be extremely rude. I don’t think he would understand it if I told that I couldn’t go outside without my beads and feathers. Well, I could go outside, but I would prefer not to. My beads and feathers were a part of me, and I would feel weird without them. I do feel weird without them. Mom, why today of all days did you have to take my beads and feathers from me?

Accepting the fact that I would just have to go outside without them, I called Bruce to me and then left the house. It kind of felt like sneaking out, since I didn’t tell mom I was leaving. I wonder if she’d freak out once she realized that I wasn’t in the house. Possibly. As you know, I don’t leave the house much outside of school. Me leaving of my own free will was a practically nonexistent event. Until lately.

As usual, it took only ten minutes to reach the park, then another minute or so to reach the tree. I heard Shelly before I saw her and only had a brief moment’s warning before I was on the ground with an armful of dog. Bruce, recognizing the Retriever, barked happily and joined in. The phrase wasn’t called ‘dog pile’ for nothing, I quickly learned. I heard Tyler chuckling above and I looked up to see him standing near my head, hands in his pockets and a lazy grin on his face.

“Hello.”

His eyes crinkled. “Hi. Need some help?”

I pushed Shelly and Bruce off me and they went off running and barking. “Not really, no.”

“Okay.” He plopped down on the grass beside me. “So…I saw you at the mall earlier.”

“As I saw you. You looked like you were enjoying yourself.”

He frowned. “Not really. Not until I saw you anyway. It was boring. All they do is talk about the same stuff.”

“Funny, we barely talk at all. I’m still trying to figure out what about me interests you so much.” I plucked three blades of grass twining them together before picking up another and continuing the process. Every once in a while I threw in a flower that I happened to come across.

“Well, I think it’s interesting that you randomly started making a braid of grass and flowers in the middle of our conversation. Or the fact that you actually know how to braid grass.” 

I blinked at him. “You don’t know how?” He shook his head. “Well, come here then. I’ll show you.”

He scooted closer with a small, curious smile. “See? I like your company because you won’t look at me funny for not knowing how to do something that you do.”

“Why would I do that? If that was the case, people would be looking at each other funny all day. I just happened to learn how to do this because my sister went through a ‘hippie stage’ a few years ago and I was her…I don’t know how to describe it. I guess half guinea pig, half partner in crime would be the best way to say it.”

“Lucky you. My brother went through the Star Trek stage. I know how to speak Klingon fluently.”

“Hmm, interesting.” I finished my grass braid and plucked a few more, strong blades. “Well, first you need to start off with some really strong, healthy blades of grass. Three, to be exact. To start it off—well, everyone does it differently, but I tie a knot at the end, connecting the grass. Then you kind of just…do this…then that…and then keep going, adding more blades as you go. If you want to add a flower, all you do is substitute it for a blade of grass and just do the same thing with the stem.”

I showed it to him twice, once with flowers and another without, both times very slowly so that he could see the process. Then I gave him his own grass and watched as he did it. His braid was loose and couldn’t be used for anything—say a headband, as was what my sister always did them for—but it was well done for his first time. When he completed it, he looked up with the happiest expression I ever saw on someone looking at me. Sad, I know, but true. Mom doesn’t count; she’s my mom.   

“Tex, I did it!”

“Yes, indeed you did.” I arched a brow at him. “Keep working on it and you’ll be a pro.”

“This is fun, why hasn’t anyone done this before?”

“Dunno. I guess it’s a hippie thing.”

He squinted as his braid, then watched as I did mines. “Well, I think I like hippies now. This was really…psychedelic.”

“Did you really just say that?”

“Yup. Proud of it too.”

I laughed and he looked up at me in surprise before joining in a second later. Huh. I’ve never really laughed before. It has an interesting feeling to it. Kind of out of control. A little bubbly. It was…nice. And Tyler had such a contagious laugh that when I was ready to stop, he would keep laughing and I would start right back up. He had a deep laugh, straight from the belly. It was a nice, happy sound.

When we finally stopped, we leaned back on our hands and just simply stared at each other, enjoying the pleasant feeling laughing left. Then he blinked and reached out to touch my hair, where my beads and feathers usually would be, separating the long part of my hair from the shorter. I’d forgotten that I didn’t have them on. But, apparently, Tyler noticed.

“You’re not wearing your bead thingies today.”

I scowled lightly. “Yeah, my mom took them from me while I was in the shower. Some crap about looking cute without them.”

“I agree.” I blinked at him and he shrugged. “What? It’s true.”

“Well, I like them and not wearing them feels strange.”

He titled his head to the side. “Young grasshopper needs to live a little.”

“My health is fine, what are you talking about?”

“No…” He shook his head incredulously. “It’s a figure of speech. It means that you should be open to new and different things. Like not wearing your bead thingies every once in a while. Or even wearing your hair in different styles.”

“Oh.” I looked up at him from under my bangs, feeling shy for some strange reason. “Do you really…think so?”

“What?”

“About…” My cheeks heated and I ducked my head, feeling strange. “You know…the way I look?”

He chuckled and I jumped when he put his hand on my head. I looked up to see him smiling at me. “Very cute.”

“Oh.” I looked back down. “Thanks, I guess.”

“You guess?”

“…Yeah.”

Another chuckle. “Okay.”

I messed with the hem of my shirt. “You don’t…look too bad yourself.”

“Oh really?” He growled at me playfully. “Well I’ll have you know that every single girl will tell you that I’m the hottest guy in our school.”

“Tyler, that’s not that hard to accomplish.”

He laughed at my bluntness. “That’s not nice.”

“But it’s true.”

A snort. “Still not nice.”

“Then why are you laughing?”

“I’m not.” He abruptly stopped laughing, trying to keep a straight face even though I could see the hints of a smile twitching at the corners of his mouth.

It was pretty late by the time we separated. He asked me about the Michael’s bag he saw me with, which then changed into him questioning about my interest in art. I went on and on, ranting about my love for art, and he let me do so for an entire hour. The only reason I ended up stopping was because Bruce bounded out of nowhere and jumped me. I asked Tyler why he didn’t stop me, but he shrugged and changed the topic. I, of course, noticed that he did so, but chose to go along with it. We talked about a lot of stuff, and the time flew by. Before I knew it, it was six o’clock and my phone was buzzing in my pocket.  My mom, demanding me to come home and help her with dinner. Tyler grinned at me understandingly and he walked me home.

“Hey, we should definitely hang out a lot more, Tex.” He glanced at me as my house came into view. “Like, seriously. You’re really fun to hang out with.”

I looked up at him. “You really enjoy my company?”

He grinned and reached out to ruffle my hair. “Hell, yes! you’re so different and it just feels so…so natural, being with you. I don’t have to act any different than who I really am, and I know you won’t ever care. God, I could probably be a psycho serial killer and you wouldn’t care.”

“You aren’t though, right?” I frowned up at him. “Because I would not like to die any time soon; I quite enjoy living.”

“You…” He looked at me incredulously before laughing loudly. “No, Tex. I’m not a psycho serial killer.”

“Good.” I sighed in relief. We reached my house, stopping in front of the door. “Thank you for walking me home even though it was completely unnecessary. And inconvenient.”

He smiled. “No problem. See you later?”

I nodded. We’d already exchanged phone numbers, and Tyler said he would call me when he wanted to hang out. Shelly licked my hand as Tyler began to walk away, and then chased after him.

And that was the beginning of our tentatively forming friendship. We hung out at least two or three times a week and Tyler took me everywhere. As a person who prefers to be by themselves and not too fond of crowds, I don’t go out much, and therefore don’t know much about entertainment things around town.  The most I’ve ever done was go to the mall, and that was only if I needed something from one of the shops there. I went to get what I needed and left immediately. I don’t browse.

Tyler, however, was appalled when he found out and vowed to take me everywhere he could possibly take me. He took me to all the ‘hotspots’ or in other words, the places were teenagers our age went to hang out. It was mostly cafes or little diners, and the food court at the mall. Or just the mall in general. Apparently teenagers think with their stomachs over their brains. And he took me to the beach; I had to borrow Caesar’s swimming trunks and had to deal with his smirking. There were a lot of people at the beach, but Tyler said it was only because it was summer and any other time there were probably only a few people and if you were lucky, you could be there when no one else was.

He even somehow managed to convince me to go over to his house. His parents were very nice, though I could tell that they were wierded out by me, and his sister wasn’t home so I didn’t meet her. Tyler introduced me to the world of violence through videogames. It was very interesting. But majority of the time, we spent at the park, at what Tyler was beginning to call ‘our spot’. I guess I could agree; it was where I also went when I was looking for him. We even hung out on the Fourth of July, at the park of course, though he left once the fireworks began because he promised his girlfriend—whose name I was slowly beginning to remember was Charlotte—that he would watch them with her.

Before I knew it, it was July eighteenth and my birthday was tomorrow. The family already knew that I didn’t like anything big, so they usually gave me my presents whenever they ran into me during the day and told me happy birthday. Mom would make my favorite breakfast—waffles and bacon—and she would bake a cake for me. Dad would go out under the guise of getting ice cream when in actuality he forgot it was my birthday and would rush to get me a present. More than often, he just picked up a few things from Michael’s. Not that I was complaining. Tyler almost freaked out when I told him while we hung out at the park.

“What? Your birthday’s tomorrow?” His eyes bulged. “How old are you turning?”

“Seventeen.”

He sighed. “Why’d you wait so late to tell me?”

I shrugged. “It’s not a big deal—.”

“Not a big deal?” He reached out and grabbed my hands between his, looking me dead in the eye. “Tex, your birthday is the most important day of your life. Literally. You can’t just brush it off.”

“I can and I have.” I pulled my hands from his and looked away. “If it’s so important to you, then just get me a present or something.”

“Fine I will.” I could hear the pout in his voice and sighed.

“Tyler, I’ve got to go. See you?”

“Yeah.” He smiled and pulled me into a hug. He’s been doing that lately. “I’ll see you. Soon.”

I didn’t know he meant it literally. Which was a very bad thing, as I could’ve been prepared. 


	3. Carnivals and Carnivores

The morning of my birthday, I woke up to my brother screaming in my ear. I growled and threw him off my bed, chasing after him when he jumped up and ran out.

Susan was calling me from somewhere in the front of the house, but I was too distracted by Caesar. He was laughing wildly, yelling ‘Happy birthday, Theodore!’. I chased him all through the house, finally catching him in the living room. He fell when I hit him, and I climbed on top of him and started punching him.

“Okay, okay! Theo, I quit. Uncle, uncle! Why are you so mean to me?!”

I stopped to glare at him. “You’re the one who was screaming in my ear while I was sleeping!” I continued to hit him.

“Well, I never expected you to be doing something like this, Tex.”

Immediately, I stopped punching Caesar and looked up. Tyler was standing just inside the living room, smirking with his hands in his pockets. Susan was behind him, her hands on her hips as she scowled at us. I quickly stood, sending one last swift kick into Caesar’s side; he groaned and rolled away from me. Tyler’s smirk widened into a smile.

“Hey Tex. I’d say Happy Birthday, but you don’t look all too happy.” He arched a brow and I flushed.

Susan decided to interrupt, coming forward to grab my arm and drag me to the other side of the living room. “How the hell did you meet Tyler fucking Mckenly?”

“Would you believe me if I told you his dog jumped me?”

“No, I wouldn’t.”

“Then I have nothing to say.”

She rolled her eyes at me. “Oh, my God, you are so weird! But you so totally have to hook me up with him.”

I blinked at her. “You are aware of the fact that not only does he have a girlfriend, but he’s also two years younger than you.”

“Oh please.” She snorted. “Like having a girlfriend has ever stopped a guy before.”

“Um, Tex?” I turned to look at Tyler, who was squatting next to my idiot of a brother. “I think you broke your brother.”

“He’s fine.” I gave Susan a look before going back over to Tyler. “But why are you here?”

He stood and grinned at me. “It’s a surprise, but you should like really go get dressed, because I don’t think you can get in only in pajama bottoms.”

“What?” I looked down, and then immediately blushed.

I usually only wear bottoms when I go to sleep, and last night was no exception. I didn’t think about putting on a shirt when I was chasing Caesar…And now Tyler was staring at me with no shirt on. My cheeks heated further and I ducked my head, wrapping my arms around my bare chest and running from my room.

Thanking God I’d decided to take a shower last night, I quickly got dressed. My eyes landed on my beads and feathers and I actually, for the first time in my life, considered not wearing them. That one time was the only time I never wore my beads and feathers. Tyler said I looked cute without them…so maybe I shouldn’t wear them?

Why do I care about his opinion anyway?! Or…more like when did I start to care about his opinion? I sighed and turned to look at myself in the mirror. It felt weird without my beads and feathers, but they didn’t really go with what I was wearing anyway. Mostly since I just put on the first thing I grabbed. Dark grey skinny jeans, a black and dark grey striped t-shirt, and black Vans…I’d forgotten that I had these Vans.

Someone knocked the door and I looked up. “Come in.”

It was Tyler. He came down the stairs with his hands in his pockets, looking around. I couldn’t help but notice that we were matching, a little bit. He wore light grey jeans, a white and grey striped shirt, and dark grey Vans. Another blush crept up my cheeks and I turned around before he could see it. Why am I blushing so much? Tyler must be rubbing off on me.

“Nice room you have here. I’d kill to have this room.”

I glanced at over my shoulder and shrugged. “I asked for it, and my mom was like ‘why not?’.”

All of a sudden, his chin was on my shoulder and I jumped. “Lucky. If I asked my mom, she’d be like ‘little boys don’t need a room so far away from the family’.”

“So, umm…” I casually pulled away from him in the pretense of grabbing my jacket from off the desk chair. “What are you doing here again?’

He chuckled. “I’m here to celebrate your birthday! Why else?”

“Why?”

“I’m not going to try to explain to you why birthdays are important again.” He went in his pocket and pulled something out, holding it in his fist. “I got you a present, and then we’re going out and you can’t complain.”

“You got me a present?” Curiosity got the better of me and I crept towards him, eyes on his closed fist.

“Well…” His cheeks heated a little. “It’s probably a little girly, I guess. But when I saw it, I thought of you and though I tried to get you something different…it just wouldn’t get out of my head. I—if you don’t like it, I still have the receipt so I can take it back and get you something else…”

I rolled my eyes at him. “Just give it to me already, Tyler.”

“Okay, okay. Hold your horses.” His licked his lips and slowly opened his hand. I blinked in shock.

Girly it was not. It was a necklace, yes, but far from girly. It was a small silver dragon, holding a small red egg in between its claws. But the egg was actually an oval shaped ruby. My birthstone was a ruby. It was suspended on a thin silver chain that was long enough that the dragon would rest somewhere on my chest. I couldn’t help the huge smile that spread across my face as I looked up at Tyler as I held the necklace in my hand.

“Tyler…thank you, it’s amazing.”

His smile was huge. “Glad you like it.”

“Like it?” I looked at him incredulously and clutched the necklace to my chest. “I love it.”

“Awesome.” He held his hand out. “Here, I’ll put it on for you.”

I eagerly gave him back the necklace and turned around, moving my hair out the way. It took him a second to undo the clasp, but then the necklace was over my head and settled on my chest. I could feel the brush of Tyler’s fingers as he reclasped it and my cheeks heated for some reason. When he was done, I quickly turned around and noticed his own red cheeks. 

“Thank you, Tyler.”

“It’s no problem.” He shrugged.

“But…” I held up a finger. “If you try something like this again, I won’t accept it. The only reason I accepted this gift was because it’s nice.”

He grinned. “Then I’ll just have to get you something even better next year.”

Next year. I inwardly scoffed. More than likely, in a year he wouldn’t even remember my name. No matter how nice he was, he was still a popular guy and it was so easy for him to forget someone’s name in the sea of names that probably passed through his mind on a daily basis.

“Tex?”

“Hmm?” I looked up at him, not realizing that a long moment had passed as I immersed myself in my thoughts. An old habit of mine from being on my own for so long.

“Are you…” He arched a brow at me. “Ready to go?”

I scowled at him. “Yes, I am, thank you.”

“Okay.” He smirked at me. “Just asking, you know.”

“Bah.” I waved a dismissive hand at him as I turned away for the stairs. “You talk too much.”

“Hey!” I could hear the pout in his voice. “I don’t talk _that_ much.”

“Yes, you do.”

~oOo~

As I knew he would, Tyler talked the whole ride to wherever he was taking me. I just listened quietly, staring out the window and trying to predict where we were going.

I didn’t think he was going to take me to a carnival.

Once, he had a brief freak out when he heard that I’d never been to a carnival before. I honestly didn’t see the point in going to one. There were loud, shrieking kids; tired parents; corrupted stall games; and more than likely thieves. Oh, and you can’t forget the stupid, lovey dovey couples who didn’t know the meaning of too much PDA.

But now I knew why Tyler didn’t tell me where we were going. He knew I wouldn’t even leave the house if he did. But now we’re here and I don’t have a chance.

“Aw, come on, Tex. It’s not that bad. It’ll be fun.”

I crossed my arms and glared at the annoyingly bright pink ticket booth. “Yeah, right.”

He laughed. “It will be, I promise.”

“Whatever.”

Once we had our roll of tickets, the first thing he did was waste half of them dragging me around the area to get on every single ride the carnival had. Except for the Ferris Wheel. Tyler said that was for last.

After that, we went to go play those infuriating games. Tyler played a strange one where he had to toss a small ball into the proper colored bottle. But the holes of the bottle were barely big enough, making it that much harder to win. Somehow, Tyler got them all, and he won a prize from the top shelf. He chose a huge, silvery-grey bunny that had long, floppy ears and soft fur, which he immediately gave to me. My eyes widened as I gingerly took the stuffed animal.

“Tyler…you won this, not me.”  

He grinned as he led me away from the booth. “I won it for you, Tex. I saw you eyeing it when we passed by earlier on the way to the rocket ride. Let’s just call it another birthday gift.”

I looked down, cradling the bunny to my chest. It was about a little bit larger than my upper body, with a huge head that sported cute, round, red cheeks, and a chubby body. It held a bright orange carrot in one paw, and its other paw was shaped into a thumbs-up. It was winking with a large, buck-toothy grin.

“Thank you, Tyler.”

“No problem.” He shoved his hands into his pockets as he glanced over at me. “What are you going to name him?”

“Umm…” I wasn’t good at naming things. Bruce was what mom decided they German Shepard’s name would be after I had tried to name him Bloo-blub. I was only about ten at the time, but hey. “Maybe you should name him, since you won him and all.”

He eyed me for a moment, then stopped in the middle of the passage way. People split around us and my cheeks heated as multiple looked at us curiously.

“You sure?” I nodded eagerly at his hesitated question. “Okay…name him Bear.”

I arched a brow. “Bear?”

“Yeah.” He nodded empathetically. “A twist on the whole animal name thing. Call a dog, cat. Call a cat, rabbit. Call a rabbit, bear. Call a bear, dog.”

“Hmm…” I looked down at the stuffed bunny. “Bear…okay. I like it.”

“Great.” He grinned and started walking again. “Shall we get something to eat now?”

“Sure. What’s on the menu?”

He snorted. “Corn dogs. Hot dogs. Burgers. Take your pick.”

What the…? I blinked. “Umm…burgers, I guess. I don’t really like hot dogs.”

“What? Why not?”

“Because they’re made out of pig intestines and other, indescribable things that should not be consumed.”

His face went green. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“Then I see your point. Burgers it is.”

After we ate, we walked around for a while to let the food digest. Dusk was falling, and Tyler suggested that we get on the Ferris Wheel soon. He said the best time to go was right after sunset, when you could just barely see the last rays of sunshine disappearing from the side of Earth as you reached the top. And also, you could see the first of stars beginning to peek out, right before they disappeared because of all the lights. But we still had to wait an hour, because a full stomach and heights were never a good combination.

We got in line in the last ten minutes of our digesting hour. It was still a bit early, as people—couples, mostly—preferred to go when it was much later into the night and the lights were easier to see. But Tyler insisted that right after sunset was the best. I had no opinion, as I’ve never ridden a Ferris Wheel before and therefore wouldn’t know.

The man operating he machine arched a brow at us when we approached, but only smile happily and let us on board. I immediately wanted to get off. The thing was rickety and creaked every time I moved. Dangerous. Tyler laughed at me.

“Tex, it’ll be fine. I’ve ridden this thing before and nothing has ever happed, okay?”

“Yeah, whatever.” I scooted closer to him and clutched his shirt with one hand, holding Bear in the other tightly to my chest.

Tyler grinned down at me, but let me stay. When the ride lurched as it began, I jumped and he wrapped an arm around my waist. His head bent until his lips neared my ear.

“It’ll be fine, Tex. I promise. Have I steered you wrong yet?” I shook my head, unable to unclench my jaw. “Exactly. Everything will be fine. I got you, okay? If anything did ever happen, which it won’t, I’ll protect you.”

He continued to say things to me, and I slowly relaxed. We were about halfway up to the peek when I was finally able to sit up and glance around.

Wow. It was…just like he said. We weren’t even at the top yet, and I could see the sun rays he’d been talking about. It was a beautiful sight to see. I looked up at him in surprise and he grinned down at me.

“Told you so.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “One of these days, you are going to get annoyed with saying that all the time.”

We were going on our second cycle when it suddenly stopped. I’d let go of Tyler’s shirt earlier, but when the metal box suddenly swung as the ride stopped, I found myself gripping the cloth again. Tyler laughed.

“Tex, it’s supposed to do that. So that everyone can enjoy the view.” He gently pushed me forward. “Look.”

I looked and hasped. The sun had fully set and now I found myself staring at millions of lights from the carnival flickering about. Tyler nudged me and pointed upward as we moved again, stopping a few seconds later.

A few stars winked on and off in the sky. My jaw dropped. They were so pretty. Tyler chuckled and I glanced at him.

“What?”

“No—you’re just…so amazing, you know that? You’re so different than what I thought you were when we first met.”

“I tend to be like that, yes.”

He laughed. “See? Like that. You have such dry humor, without even being sarcastic somehow. I swear you’re the only one who can pull that off so wonderfully.”

“I’m not that funny, Tyler. At least, I don’t try to be.”

“And that’s what makes you so hilarious!” He glanced away, and as the ride started up again, his hair blew into his eyes. He didn’t bother to move it away. “You are so different, Tex. It’s just…amazing. You’re amazing.”

I felt my cheeks heat. “Tyler, you’re the amazing one. You’re the only person who ever gave me a chance. With you, I don’t feel…like, like a strange entity that doesn’t belong. You make me feel normal. For whatever reason, when I’m around you, I can…express how I’m feeling so much easier.”

Our eyes locked when he glanced at me and smiled. “Good.”

~oOo~

We left as soon as the Ferris Wheel ride ended. It was getting late, and I was a little cold. Of course, after I shivered one too many times, Tyler had dragged me into one of the little stores that were warmer than outside, and told me to stay. He ran out and five minutes later, he came back panting and holding my jacket.

“Tyler!” I grabbed the jacket out of his hands. “Why did you do that?”

He shrugged. “You were cold.”

“But we were on the way back! I was fine.”

Another shrug. “It’s fine. Here—give me Bear so you can put on your jacket.”

I scowled, but put it on anyway. He ended up somehow carrying Bear all the way back to the car. I grumbled a little, but let him do it anyway. He looked like a happy puppy doing it, and I didn’t want to stomp on his little party.

When we started heading back towards town, my eyes felt a little heavy. Before I knew it, I had falling asleep to Tyler humming softly to the radio.

There wasn’t really anything in my dreams. I just…kind of floated. I was…happy. Not really something I felt that often. But that was how I was feeling. There was no other way to explain the whole floaty thing.

I woke up when I was jostled around. My eyes flashed open to meet with Tyler’s wide blue ones. I blinked slowly as my sleep-addled mind slowly came to the realization that I was in his arms. Bear was nowhere to be seen and it could be assumed that he was still in the car.

“Tyler?” 

He cleared his throat and looked away. “Yes?”

“Why am I in your arms?”

“Because…I was carrying you?”

“Why?”

“Because you were asleep?”

“And you couldn’t wake me up? We are at my house, right—?”

At that moment, I had looked around and realized that, no we were not at my house. We were, in fact, at his house.

“Tyler?”

“Yes, Tex?”

“Why am I at your house?”

“Because you’re going to spend the night over here.”

“Says who?”

“Says me and your mom.”

Dammit! That woman was going to be the death of me. I sighed. “Can you at least put me down? I am awake and have perfect use of my legs.”

“Oh.” He gently tilted his arms so that my feet touched the ground. “Sorry.”

I dusted myself off. “It’s fine…Ah, what about clothes?”

He grinned. “You can wear mines.”

“Uh, no offense, but you are twice the size of me.”

We began to walk towards his house. “Yeah, I know.”

“So how would I wear your clothes?”

A shrug. “Dunno. They’d be a bit big, but I think I have some of my old clothes that would be a bit closer to your size. You’re lucked out on pants though. My sister’s waist isn’t even as small as yours.”

“Hey!”

“What?” He glanced over at me wide eyed as he opened to door. “It was a compliment!”

“Tyler? Is that you?” His mom walked out from the kitchen, dusting off her apron. “Oh, and Theodore! Oh how nice to see you!”

“It’s nice to see you to Mrs. Mckenly.” I gave her a wide smile, which I was pretty sure confused her a little.

Her own smile faltered, but she immediately picked it back up. “I’m guessing you’re staying for dinner?”

Before I could respond, Tyler spoke. “Actually, mom, I was wondering if he could spend the night too. I already talked to his mother, and she agreed rather enthusiastically.”

“Oh, ok.” His mother grinned at him. “It’s fine, dear, if you already talked to his mom. Do you have clothes, Theodore?”

“No, but apparently Tyler believes I can fit his.”

She flapped a hand. “Oh, Tyler. Well, he might have something from his middle school days that you can fit. Tyler—.”

“Yeah, I have a few things in the closet, mom.”

“Oh good. You two boys run on upstairs. Dinner will be ready in about thirty minutes.”

“Okay.” Tyler looked back at me. “Come on, Tex.”

He ran up the stairs and I followed at a slower pace. When I reached his room, his door was wide open and he was sprawled out on his bed, going through his game collection. I closed the door—I knew he preferred it closed—and joined him on the bed, sitting near the edge.

“My mom seems to be liking you better.”

I nodded. “Yeah. I think she was just surprised to see me, however.”

“Nah, she’s warming up to you.” He rolled over. “What do you want to play?”

We played videogames until his mom called us down for dinner. His dad had came home by that point, but didn’t seem too surprised to see me. Apparently his wife had filled him in on the situation. Again, Tyler’s sister wasn’t around, which was fine by me. If I knew anything about girls, I knew they liked to pry into your life.

After dinner, we retreated back into the room. We played a bit more videogames, until we were both yawning and our eyes were watering. Tyler didn’t take a shower—he was one of those who took them in the morning—but simply brushed his teeth and changed into loose pajama bottoms and a thin white t-shirt. He explained to me sheepishly that he usually slept only in his boxer briefs, but since I was there he was going to be a bit more appropriate.

Then he dug around for the smallest shirt and pair of shorts he could find for me. It wasn’t until after I got out the shower that I found out how big that still was. His shorts slid right off my hips and the shirt reached a little lower than mid thigh, completely covering my briefs. And so, hair still dripping wet a little—I usually let it air dry—I cracked the door to the adjacent bathroom of his and peeked over at him.

He was on his bed with his legs crossed, his arms behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling. His brow was scrunched in deep thought. Almost as if he could feel me looking, he turned and locked eyes with me.

“Hey, there. Everything okay?”

My cheeks heated slightly. “Not exactly.”

“What?” He immediately sat up, his eyes growing serious. “What’s wrong?”

“No, no, no.” My eyes widened. “Nothing serious. It’s just…you’re clothes are too big.”

“Oh.” He relaxed. “Let me see.”

“What?!”

“Yeah, come on out of there.”

I swallowed hard. “O-okay.”

Slowly, I opened the door all the way and stepped out. I only had the shirt on and my boxer briefs. The shirt was so long that if anyone looked, it appeared as if I weren’t wearing any underwear. But those stupid shorts wouldn’t stay up. I looked down as I opened the door, but as the silence increased my curiosity got the better of me and I looked up.

Tyler was frozen on the bed, his hands twisting his blanket in his fists. His eyes were trained on me, and were darker blue than was his normal. His pupils were dilated spectacularly, and the intense look he was giving me made my whole body flush.

“T-tyler?”

His eyes flashed to mine and he growled low, and deep. “Tex, come here.”

Blinking, I took slow steps until I stood in front of him. He looked at me, his eyes slowly trailing down my body. I shivered, and his eyes reconnected with me.

“Fuck.”

Next thing I knew, my wrist was grabbed and I was yanked onto the bed. Tyler loomed over me, his hands planted on either side of my head and his knees pressed against my hips. I stared at him wide eyed as his pupils grew even larger, until a thin ring of blue was only shown of his irises. He licked his lips and I swallowed hard.

“Tex…what the hell? You just look so…delectable. I…I wanna eat you, right now. Piece by piece.” My eyes widened as his head swooped down and he buried his nose into my neck. I could feel his lips brushing my skin with every word he spoke. “I wanna swallow you whole. I want to eat each of your toes, and then your feet, then each of your legs. Then I’ll keep going until I’ve gobbled you all up. Tex…why do I feel like this?”

I shook my head slowly and took a deep breath. “I don’t know. I…really don’t know.”

“Tex…” He looked up and locked eyes with me. “Can I eat you all up?”


	4. Hunger and Disaster

Sad chapter guyz, sry. 

* * *

 

My eyes widened slowly and my breath hitched in my throat.

Tyler waited patiently, eyes wide and trained on me. I didn’t know what to say. What did he mean by…eating me? Was he serious? Or does that mean something else?

“Tex…” He whined.

I blinked up at him. “What do you mean by eat me up?”

His eyes flashed. “Can I show you?”

“Umm…”

Apparently that was enough of an answer for him, because he suddenly swooped down. And then his lips were on mine.

Suddenly heat exploded like a volcano of molten lava from my lips, spreading down the rest of my body. I couldn’t help but gasp, and as I did, Tyler slid his tongue into my mouth. He was kissing me, hard and rough. His tongue twisted with mine, and his teeth nibbled my lip, and he just sucked on everything. I succumbed easily to his ministrations. Everything he did sent a shock of heat running through my body, making my gasp and squirm and arch up into his body. He growled and grabbed my hips, his fingers digging slightly into my skin, though not enough to hurt me.

I turned my head away when my lungs began to burn. Tyler was unperturbed, and he simply turned his kisses from my lips and down my jaw to my neck. Which produced unexpected results.

When he bit down lightly on the juncture between my neck and shoulder, I jerked out a cry and arched into him. My hands flew up to grab his shoulders as he nipped and sucked at the area.

“Ah! T-tyler. My—ah—oh, my neck. S-stop…”

He growled around my skin, the vibrations making my shiver. “Do you really want me to?”

“I—I don’t—ugh, ah—know. T-ty—ah!—Tyler. N-never…felt this…bef—ah—before.”

“Hmm.” His hands slid under my shirt and up my sides, his hot palms doing wonders on my skin. “Am I the only one to touch you like this, Tex?”

“Yes—ah!”  He bit my neck harder, causing me to moan and raise my hands to tug at his hair. “No one has ever—ah, Tyler—done anything like this to me. You—oh, ah—you took my first kiss.”

“Shit.” He pulled back to look at me. His eyes were wild and his lips were dark red. I could only imagine what I looked like right now. “Do you know what you’re saying, Tex?”

“Um, yes, I would believe so.” I panted out.

He shuddered, closing his eyes. “So beautiful. God, Tex, the things you’re doing to me right now.”

I blinked in confusion. “But…I’m not doing anything.”

“You’re doing everything.” He leaned back down and kissed me again.

This time was slower, with less exploding heat. Instead of an erupting volcano, it was the slow trail of lava running in gentle curves down the sides of the volcano. Tyler gently parted my lips open and slowly slid his tongue in, leisurely lapping at my mouth. I let him, my fingers tightening on his shoulders.

Honestly, I didn’t know what the hell was up with me. I didn’t know how this happened, why it happened, and what the hell I was doing. I was no longer in control of my own body. It was like Tyler put me under a spell. But from the way he was acting, it would seem like it was me who put him under a spell.

As he continued to kiss me, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and lifted my legs onto his hips. From that position, I could feel something hard poking me. My cheeks heated considerably. It was his erection. I mean, I know I had one—I could obviously feel it—but just knowing that he was reacting the same way…I swallowed, the action accidentally causing him to moan and his hips shifted.

He froze, only just noticing the position we were in. After a brief pause, he continued to kiss me. But it was added by the rocking of his hips. A bolt of electricity ran through my body and I arched up into him with a loud wail. He swallowed all the noise that came from my mouth, then pulled away to smirk at me.

“Tex, you can’t be loud. My parents are down the hall.”

I nodded shakily, unable to really focus as he continued to rock against me. “Ah—ok-okay.”

My body twitched violently when he gave a particularly hard thrust. He grinned down at me, doing it again.

“Like that, huh?”

“Oh, yes—”

He did it again. “That right there?”

I held onto him as he kept thrusting into my hips. “Yes, yes, yes!”

There was a tight heat curling in my lower abdomen. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I could take a wild guess. Nine times out of ten, I was about to cum any minute. Tyler continued his hard pace, his hands groping me under my shirt and his lips attacking my neck. One hand left from under my shirt to grasp my thigh. Tyler pushed my leg up towards me, and began to push our hips together at the new angle.

The tightening in my stomach increased, and the pleasure was so wonderful that I couldn’t even make any noise anymore. He rocked against me at that perfect angle and I clutched onto him, little mewls that barely made a sound spilling from my lips. He leaned down and kissed me again. When he pulled away, he put his lips near my ear.

“Fuck, I’m going to cum soon. Are you?”

I nodded frantically, arching my body upwards to meet him thrust for thrust. He growled and his pace increased. This time I did moan loudly, and Tyler quickly slanted his lips over mine so that the sound wouldn’t leave the room and reach his parents.

But God, did that feel so good. I panted against his lips, eyes parted just enough so that I could see his face. He did the same, looking down at me with heated eyes.

All of a sudden, I saw nothing but white. There was a loud ringing in my ears. I could feel my body arching up, completely taunt against Tyler’s. Wave after wave of pure, blissful pleasure wracked my body. I knew my mouth was open, but no sound came out. Tyler wrapped his arms around me, his head buried in my shoulder. His hips jerked sporadically against mine. His fingers would leave bruises on my skin tomorrow, and I was pretty sure he was going to have scratch marks on his shoulders     

I experienced all of this in sudden clarity. But after a moment, everything came crashing down onto me and I slumped down into the bed, panting softly. My body still twitched from the aftereffects. Tyler was gasping on top of me, and his body shuddered against mine every once in a while.

My body didn’t want to move anywhere, and my mind felt no inclination to try and force to do so. I felt perfectly fine just where I was, even with Tyler’s heavy deadweight on top of me. My hands slowly unclenched from his shoulders and slowly slid up to bury themselves in his hair, cradling him to me. I could feel him falling asleep, even as it also crept up on me. I gave a single shuddering sigh before falling asleep.

~oOo~

I awoke to the sound of birds chirping, and a heavy weight on top of me. Blinking slowly, I looked down to be greeting with the sight of messy, golden hair splayed across my chest and neck.

Wha—?

Images of the night before suddenly surfaced and my eyes widened as I gasped softly. Oh. Right. Now I think I know what Tyler meant when he said he wanted to eat me up.

Another image of his face, eyes and lips dark, sent soft shudders down my body. Tyler groaned softly from his place buried half in my neck, half in my chest, and I froze. He shifted a little, hands tightening on my hips, and then went still. I only relaxed when he let out a soft snore.

Honestly, I didn’t know how to react for when he finally woke up. I guess it will all depend on how he reacts. Will he be surprised? Angry? Happy? Normal? Would he want more?

Hmm…

I guess I would not really mind all that much if he wanted more.

Oh, god. What am I thinking about? I finally do something my parents have been practically begging me to do, which I have never planned on doing, and now I’m greedy for more. Is that normal?

To tell the truth, I’m still not sure on how I feel about Tyler. He was really a great man, so nice and kind and selfless, but what did any of that really mean? Yes, he’s nice, so then that could mean he only talks to me and hangs out with me to be polite. He seems like the type of person who would do anything someone asked just because he could.

That made him a good person, but that didn’t necessarily mean that it was an overall good thing to do.

Why am I only thinking of this now? This was something I should have analyzed a long time ago. How could I have been so reckless?

He was changing me, and I knew it. And I did not like it very much. I was doing things without first thinking about the consequences, something I have never done before, and I was slowly loosing myself. I don’t think that’s a good thing at all. 

So what do I do now?

I practically had only one option. Leave. Leave, and never look back. I will have to cut off all ties with him in order to return to myself.

Mind made up, I moved slowly to get from under Tyler’s dead weight. He stirred slightly, hands again tightening on my waist before they relaxed. I slid from underneath him, carefully easing his head onto the pillow. He frowned a little bit, hands flexing a little, before he grabbed the pillow and rolled over. I breathed a sigh of relief that he didn’t wake up and turned away.

My shirt and pants were still in the bathroom, along with Tyler’s shorts. I headed inside and quickly pulled on my pants, grabbing my shirt before heading back into his bedroom to get my shoes. Except I didn’t get to that point.

Tyler was awake, and he was staring at me. Though his hair was tussled and his eyes were a little glazed with sleep, I couldn’t help but feel guilty under his narrowed gaze. I bit my lip and looked down.

“Tex…what are you doing?”

“Leaving.” I could hear the tension in his voice.

“Why?”

“Because I have to go.”

“Why?”

My head whipped up and I glared at him in frustration. “Because of the way you make me feel, Tyler! These emotions are so sudden and foreign, and I don’t know what to do with them. So if you don’t mind, I would like to go home and collect my thoughts!”

Without waiting for his response, I grabbed my shoes and ran out. Thankfully, it was already late morning and his parents seemed to be gone. I briefly wondered if his sister ever came home, but the thought passed as I focused on getting out.

Tyler caught my wrist as I reached the door, forcing me to turn around and pinning me to the door. His eyes were wide and his brow was furrowed. I glared up at him.

“What do you mean by the way I make you feel?”

“What do you think I mean?!” I pushed on him, but he didn’t budge. “Tyler, last night we did something that has never even entered my thoughts once in my life. Let alone me actually doing it. Everything is a mess. It is like I don’t even understand myself anymore.”

“Then talk to me, don’t run away.”

I shook my head. “I can’t tell you what I don’t know, Tyler.”

He sighed and looked away. I continued to glare at him, wishing he would let me go. When he looked back at me, there was a light in his eyes. His head began to lower closer to mine, and I immediately knew what he was going to do. Before he could, however, I turned away and put my hand up. He sighed again in frustration.  

“Tex—.”

“What about Charlotte?”

He blinked. “What about her?”

I scowled. “She’s your _girlfriend._ You—you used me to commit adultery on her. Shit, why am I only realizing this now? I can’t believe you.”

“I didn’t _use_ you, Tex—.”

“But you still committed an infidelity. You cheated on her. With me.”

“Tex—.”

“No!” I pushed on his chest harder, pounding on it in frustration when he didn’t move. “I need to go, please. Let me go.”

A long moment passed where we were frozen. Then he slowly backed away from me, face closed off and brow furrowed. I looked away and opened the door, running as soon as I passed the threshold. I didn’t even stop to put my shoes on, just ran all the way home.

Mom was coming out of the kitchen when I ran inside. “Hey hon—.”

“Not now, mom.” I ran past her, towards my room. I could hear her following after me.

“Theodore? What happened?”

“Nothing, mom, just leave me alone. Please.”

“No.” She stopped me just as I reached my room and grabbed my chin, forcing me to look up at her. Her eyes widened. “You’re crying. Why?”

What? I reached up to touch my cheek, and alas, when I pulled away my fingertips were wet. A hard lump formed in my throat. I hadn’t even noticed. I haven’t cried since I was a mere child. Why was I crying now? Was it because of Tyler? Impossible.

I pulled away from mom. “I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” She reached out towards me. “Theo, tell mommy what happened.”

“I can’t.” I shook my head, backing away from her. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”

Her face was sad but understanding, and she allowed me to go into my room, closing the door behind me. I stumbled to my bed where I collapsed in exhaustion, dropping my shoes and shirt on the ground behind me. Tyler’s unique scent reached my nose and I realized I was still wearing his shirt. Almost unconsciously, I pulled the hem up and over my nose, taking a deep breath.

I closed my eyes as a sob slipped past my lips. The action felt so foreign. I honestly can’t remember the last time I cried. I wasn’t even sure why I was crying now. Maybe I have an idea. But it was completely unconventional. For me at least. Nearly impossible. And even if that was the answer…how did that happen? How did I allow myself to fall so low?

But then I realized. It doesn’t work that way. You don’t just know. You don’t plan it, expect it, allow it to happen. It just does, and you only realize it when you least expect it. I had no control over it.

The thought only made me cry harder.

I cried myself to sleep and didn’t wake up until later in the afternoon, nearing evening. Even though I slept a lot, I still felt exhausted. I didn’t have the energy to move, so I stayed in my bed, staring at the wall across from me. And sniffed Tyler’s shirt.

I wished I at least had Bear.

Probably around an hour passed after I woke up when my door slowly creaked open, and then closed. I heard soft footsteps that could only be mom approaching my bed. When she saw me, she gasped, and then sat down to coo over me. I closed my eyes when she ran a hand through my hair. They immediately flashed open when something soft was pressed into my arms and locked on silvery-grey fur. My throat closed.

Bear.

“The doorbell rang, and when I opened the door, this was on the step. Along with a letter.”

My eyes slowly strayed from Bear to mom. She winced when our eyes locked. No doubt my eyes were red and swollen. She looked away and held out the letter to me. I stared at it for a second, then took it with shaking hands.

For a moment, I just stared at it. I knew it was from him. But did I want to hear what he had to say? I didn’t even truly understand what was going on with me, so I highly doubted he did. So what did he have to say?

Taking a deep breath, I opened the letter:

_Tex,_

_Honestly, you kind of freaked me out this morning. I woke up, and you weren’t there. But the bed was still warm. And then I heard you moving around in the bathroom, quietly. And then I knew what you were trying to do. And I got so scared all of a sudden._

_Last night, I knew what I was doing. I know I shouldn’t have, because I have Charlotte, but dammit Tex! You just do something completely unexplainable to me. When you smile at me, my heart starts beating faster and my hands get sweaty. And when you look at me with those beautiful, piercing blue eyes of yours—whenever I take away your shades, anyway—my tongue gets stuck on the roof of my mouth and I don’t know what to say. Whenever we accidentally—or purposely—touch, my skin immediately gets covered in goose bumps even though the area where we touched was burning hot. I have never felt this way for anyone before._

_And I think that’s why you ran away, Tex. You were feeling things that were unfamiliar to you, and you didn’t know what to do. You thought your only option was to leave the source of where those feelings came from. Me._

_But it hurts, doesn’t it? I know it does for me. My handwriting is completely crappy right now because I’m shaking in effort from keeping the pain back so that I don’t cry all over this letter. This is my last piece of paper, so I kind of can’t mess up anymore._

_I’m not going to tell you that your decision was wrong, Tex. It was the choice you made. But I want you to know that running is not your only option. It’s never the only option. Whenever you are ready, I will be waiting for you._

It wasn’t signed. But I knew it was from him. I swallowed hard as I carefully folded the letter back up. 

“Honey?” Mom laid a hand on my arm. I looked up at her.

“Mom, how did you know when you were in love with dad?”

She looked at me carefully, her usually cheerful expression replaced with a more serious one. “Well, it definitely wasn’t that easy in the beginning. We met in college, as you already know. Because of my looks, I was very well sought after and desired. I had a hard time trusting people because I couldn’t tell the difference between the ones who truly wanted to be my friends, and the ones who wanted me for my looks. But your father…Charles was different. He was the jock that no one knew. He was on the football team—I can’t remember what position—but he was very introverted. He hated talking to other people and would rather spend all his time in the library, his nose buried in a book. I saw him a few times because we shared one or two classes, but we never spoke. He was easily the smartest in the class, and while I could keep up, I had to do a lot of work in order to maintain my grades. Then one day we were to have a final for the class that I had the hardest time in. Lo and behold, Charles was also in that class. I had to give myself a pep talk in order to go talk to him. If you think your father looks intimidating now, imagine how it was back then when he used to be a lot less social than now.

“I finally approached him in the library, clutching my book to my chest, and asked him if he could tutor me for the final. He stared at me for a really, really long time. He never said anything and just stared at me. Then he tilted his head at the chair across from him. Long story short, I passed the test and me and Charles were forming a tentative relationship. I hung out with him in the library more than I did my other friends, because he never judged me. He looked at me the same as he looked at the next person—maybe with a little less hostility—and he treated me as if I was more than a pretty Barbie. Like I actually had a brain. To me, Charles was like my knight in shining armour. And I was slowly starting to fall for him. But I didn’t know how he felt, and it made me self conscious. So I lashed out at him. 

“That was out first fight. It was during the beginning of summer towards our senior year, so I ended up not talking to him all of break and I was a disaster. I didn’t eat, I didn’t talk to anyone; I just slept all day. On the first day of school, he approached me with a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates. He apologized for acting like an idiot and asked me on a date. Of course, I accepted, and we’ve been together ever since. Naturally, we’ve had multiple fights since then. Some were bigger than others, some smaller. Once we split up for nearly an entire year because of one fight, and we were both miserable. But our love was strong enough to pull us back together every time.”

She looked down and smiled at me. I looked away, tugging Bear closer to me. Her hand suddenly ran through my hair.

“So…how you are feeling is okay. Especially for you, my helplessly unemotional baby. Your first love is always the worst, so don’t worry. Mommy’s always here to catch you when you fall.”

I took a deep breath. “Are you sure that is what I’m feeling, mom?”

“Positive. We are just the same, Theodore. I pretty much had the same reaction when I fell in love for the first time. I was a little younger than you, but it’s still the same. Don’t worry, you’ll get over him.”

“How do you know it’s a he?”

“Because the only person you have spoken to outside of family is Tyler, hon.” She stood. “I will bring you down some dinner when it’s done, okay?”

“Yeah.”

When she was gone, I looked down at Bear. He looked back at me almost mockingly, with that toothy smile and that silly wink. Memories of yesterday flooded my thoughts. Having fun with Tyler. Him winning Bear for me. The Ferris Wheel. Him running ahead to grab my jacket because I’d been cold. Falling asleep in his car. Waking up in his arms. Feeling his body on top of mine. His eyes dark and wide. His lips. His intoxicating scent. His everything.

Him.

He invaded my thoughts each and every day. Since when was it normal for me to always have him forefront in my mind? Did the same happen to him? Does he…feel the same as I do?

Because there was no way I could deny it any more. All the signs pointed in that direction, according to mom.

Apparently, I am in love with Tyler Mckinley.


	5. Miserable Love

My full name is Theodore Julius Xavier. I am of the male sex. My sexual preference is unknown and will probably stay that way for some time. The date of my birth is the 19th of July and my current age is 17 years and one and a half months. I have dark blonde hair that is a combination of straight and curly locks. My eyes were a slightly narrowed almond shape and were a strange swirl of light blue and teal. My skin was unblemished—except for the birthmark on my left hip in the shape of a perfect circle and the mole just under the corner of my right eye which was actually two moles that made a small heart shape—and baby soft, the color of vanilla ice cream. I have a height of 5 feet and 9 inches. My favorite color is the silvery shade of mercury; my favorite music genre is metal; my favorite food is basically any food consisting a high percentage of sugar—I have terrible sweet tooth. I have a strong love for coffee; I also love dogs; one place I would like to visit is Greece.

If you hadn’t notice, this is some of the introduction that was in the beginning of chapter one of my life. Note that there are pieces missing that were in the original introduction, not counting anything after me wanting to visit Greece. All that are missing are things that have changed about me during this summer. See if you can identify what has changed and what hasn’t.

~oOo~

I didn’t talk to or see Tyler for the rest of summer. That’s approximately one month, two weeks, and six days. All spent in my room that, according to my sister, excluded an aura of depression.

And I was miserable. I could barely choke down an apple per day, and even that sometimes made me sick; I slept all day long; I hadn’t said a word since that fateful day; and I never left my room. Bear was my only companion. Him, and Tyler’s shirt. 

But today was Monday, the second one of September. School time.

At the moment, I was staring at myself in the mirror. As was the only thing possible, I looked like crap. If I felt like crap, then I would look like crap. Some philosopher or the other had some law about that…Murphy?

My hair hadn’t been cut not once during the summer, and so now my average length was nearly to my shoulders, my long piece curled neatly on my chest, and my extra long strands reached nearly my waist. My bangs completely covered my eyes. I was wearing contacts, much to my abhorrence. My shades were still at Tyler’s house, somewhere in his room. I pulled all my hair into a low ponytail at the nape of my neck, so that it would be out of my way. Nothing much I could do about my bangs, however.

I wore a pair of black skinny jeans that for the first time in my life I had to wear a belt for. I was officially anorexic, with a scary weight of about 125-130. I checked yesterday. So I kind of had to dig for the smallest sized shirt that I owned, an old white t-shirt from who knows where, with a black-n-white pinstriped button-up on top, unbuttoned, with the sleeves rolled up to my elbows. It was a little billowy, but nothing I couldn’t handle. And I completed the look with my black Vans. Oh. And my backpack. 

Even though I’ve been sleeping like the dead, I still had dark bags under my eyes. My skin was much paler than usual, though not quite translucent as some people’s skin was. My eyes were red from putting in the contacts. As I said, I looked like crap.

Mom looked at me worriedly when I came up stairs. Bruce whined at me. Dad left; he couldn’t stand to see me like this. Once I heard him and mom arguing over me, about how Tyler was affecting me. Dad wanted to beat him up. Mom wholeheartedly disagreed. I was with her. Tyler did nothing to deserve getting beat up.

Caesar and Susan were nowhere to be found.

“Theo, honey, do you want some bacon?”

I looked at her. Her eyes were filled with hope and sadness and resignation. As if she already knew I was going to say no. So instead, I swallowed down the bile coming up my throat and nodded. Her expression immediately brightened and she scooped some of the meat from a plate, placed it on another, smaller one, and handed it to me.

“Do you want something to drink?”

“Some orange juice would be fine, thank you mom.”

She beamed at me and practically skipped to the refrigerator. With her back turned, I tossed two pieces of the pork at Bruce, who caught them nearly soundlessly in his mouth, barely chewing before swallowing. I picked up another piece and bit into it, nearly gagging, and appeared as if I had eaten multiple pieces by the time mom turned around. She noticed, and her smile brightened impossibly further. I felt a little bad about lying to her, but it was this as opposed to her moping around because I wasn’t eating. 

I quickly forced down the rest of the bacon, and choked down the orange juice before standing. My stomach twisted uncomfortably and I grimaced lightly. Mom came around and hugged me tightly.

“Love you, baby. Have a good day at school.”

“Yeah, okay.” I mumbled, turning away. “See you.”

“Bye.”

Before she noticed my discomfort, I turned away and ran out the door. I made it to the park, and the bathroom they had there—which was completely unsanitary, but I had no other choice—before my stomach lurched painfully and I threw up orange-tinged puke with little pieces of bacon sticking out. The sight of it caused my stomach to twist again and I let out this time acidic spew, as I no longer had any food in my stomach. I turned away and covered my nose before it hit me again, and stumbled from the bathroom. It was early enough that no one was about, which I could only be thankful and relieved for.

Continuing down the street, I pulled a stick of gum from out of my backpack and popped it in my mouth. I had enough foresight to plan ahead. I knew mom would try to force more food than usual on me, and I knew I wouldn’t able to eat any of it. So I bought gum to get rid of the stench and taste of throw up in my mouth.

My jaw cracked as I yawned sleepily. I was tired already. Hopefully I could get away with sleeping in homeroom. Maybe even first. Damn, I should have regulated my sleep patterns last week to be prepared for this. If I didn’t watch myself, I would fall asleep in every class.

That is, if I could sleep without Bear and Tyler’s t shirt.

By the time I reached school, my stomach had settled and I no longer could taste throw up in my mouth. I ducked my head and trudged to my locker, the same one I’ve had since freshman year. The school had sent our schedules through mail, so I had no problem already memorizing my list of classes. After homeroom, I had English 12, and then Government, then break. After break was Calculus, then Chemistry, PE, and then lunch. After lunch I had Spanish 3 and my chosen elective class, Art. 

With my luck, I’d have at least half of my classes with Tyler.

The bell rung and I headed for room 302, my homeroom. I was small, and therefore easily jostled around, so it took me quite a while to reach the room. I entered the room quickly, heading straight for the back and sitting in the last seat next to the window. It was the seat I usually sat in, whenever I could.

A group of guys suddenly rushed inside, a few seconds before the last bell rang. Jocks, going by the looks of them. Half of them were laughing and talking as they headed for the rest of the empty seats in the room. My eyes widened as they landed on the one person I did not want to see.

Tyler.

He looked…different. He was thinner, as if he hasn’t been eating either, and paler, his tan no longer present. His hair was short, the edges rugged as if he did it himself with a pair of shears, and extremely messy. He had thick, smooth stubble that lined his jaw and spread across his cheeks. His clothes were a little ragged; a black t shirt that had seen better days, scruffy dark jeans, and holey black Chucks. Even though he was smiling, it didn’t reach his eyes.

At that moment, he looked up and our eyes locked. His widened impressively, and for a moment time stood at a standstill. He opened his mouth, his hand reaching towards me, as if he was going to say something. I tensed.

Then the teacher walked in and hollered for everyone to sit down. We held gazes for a moment longer, and then I forced myself to look away, slouching down in my chair. I crossed my arms on the desk and put my head down on top of them. My heart was racing like crazy. I felt sick.

Instead of throwing up, I closed my eyes and forced myself to sleep.

~oOo~

By the time break arrived, I was completely exhausted, physically and emotionally. I wanted to go home. Even though I tried, I couldn’t really fall asleep. Apparently, I did need at least Bear with me. After homeroom, I found out that I also had English with Tyler. I could feel him looking at me the whole time. It was highly uncomfortable. At least I didn’t have him for Government, which was such a relief that I managed to get about five minutes of sleep.

During break, where most people rushed to get outside, I took my time and headed for the library. Where it would be quiet and I could see if I could at least get another five minutes of the restless sleep I’ve managed so far. Inside the library, I took a deep breath of the musty smelling book air and sighed softly. I could feel my body slowly start to relax.

All of this is so completely unnecessary. I wished things could go back to how they used to be, before I met Tyler. If I believed in Fate, I would’ve definitely said it was a bitch.

I headed towards one of the tables, planning to rest on the cool wood, when my wrist was suddenly grabbed in a firm grip and someone began to drag me off in another direction, deeper into the library. I looked up, planning to tell the person off, when my eyes widened.

It was Tyler, his face tight and his jaw taunt. He had a determined look in his expression, one that made me swallow hard. I didn’t resist as he pulled me all the way to the back of the library, where no one dared to go but those who were serious about studying to the extreme.

By that point, I had snapped out of whatever shocked stupor I had fell in and pulled my wrist from his grasp, backing away while glaring at him. He looked back at me with an intense light in his eyes.

“What are you doing, Tyler?”

“I need to talk to you.” His voice was raspy with disuse, the same as mine. “To see you. I missed you, Tex.”

I flinched. “Don’t call me that.”

“Why not?”

“It’s not my name.”

“You never had a problem with it before.”

“That was before.”

He stepped towards me. “Please, talk to me. I just—please tell me why? Why did you do this to us?”

“There _is_ no us, Tyler.” I looked away when he recoiled back, as if I slapped him. “There was never any us. You have Charlotte to do that with. “Not me.”

“But I don’t feel for Charlotte, not how I feel for you.” He stepped towards me with pleadingly raised hands. “Please, Tex.”

I glared at him. “No, Tyler. You have made me into this…irrational being who doesn’t understand anything anymore. I don’t want that.”

As if he didn’t hear me, Tyler came forwards with his hand raised. I watched his face as he slowly touched my cheek, where the bags under my eyes were. He swallowed as he thumbed the area, his palm cupping my cheek.

“You haven’t been sleeping.”

“On the contrary, I have been sleeping too much.” I grabbed his hand. “And if you would please refrain from touching me.”

“Tex…” He said softly. Our eyes locked and electric tension passed between us.

I don’t know who reached out first, but before I knew it, I had my arms wrapped around Tyler’s shoulders and he had his around my waist. Our lips connected and I sighed into his mouth, relaxing immediately. His arms tightened around my waist, crushing me to his body, as he kissed me.

The kiss was slow and soft. Tyler gently prodded my lips with his tongue and I opened my mouth, moaning when he deepened the kiss. He responded by kissing me harder, rougher. I shuddered slightly, reaching up to tangle my fingers into my hair. Though it looked rough, his hair was still as soft as it was before.

Then the bell rung, startling us both. I jerked and pulled away from Tyler, backing away a few steps and covering my mouth with my hands. He stared at me with wide, surprised eyes. After a moment, he took a step towards me.

“Tex?”

I ran. I panicked, and ran. He didn’t follow. My stomach twisted and my heart went into overdrive. I can’t believe I just did that. How did it even happen? It was like…when our eyes locked, everything—including my sanity, apparently—metaphorically flew out the window. I can’t believe it. This is not good. Not good at all.

The rest of the day up until lunch was spent in a daze. I couldn’t fall into the half-sleep state I spent in all my previous classes, so instead I stared blankly at the board. Luckily, we didn’t start right away in P.E.; just got assigned our lockers and got our gym uniforms. Then we were all dismissed for lunch.

Lunch…I couldn’t even think about eating without wanting to throw up, let alone actually doing it. So instead, I headed outside, found a tree with plenty of shade, and pulled out my drawing book and some charcoal pencils. I had art class in a few hours and I needed to see if I was still capable of drawing anything worthwhile.

At the end of last year, we were required to choose our elective class for the next year so that the school system could organize the classes appropriately, and at the time my drawings were far from subpar so I chose my elective accordingly. But now whatever I drew was barely adequate. I could change classes, but as the rosters are already filled, I would more than likely end up in a most displeasing class. So instead, I calculated that I would have better chances at regaining my drawing skills.

Time passed easily whenever I immersed myself in drawing. It was all simple sketches, just to re-familiarize myself with my paper and pencil. The time flew quickly, and before I knew it, half of lunch had passed when I finally looked up. Someone had plopped rather loudly onto the grass beside me, capturing my attention.

It was someone I never saw within the school before. Which wasn’t unusual, as for one, the school was pretty lunch and two, I didn’t take the effort to look at everyone I passed.

He looked to be my age, or a bit younger, with the boyish grin stretched across his face. He was about an inch or so taller than me, with a lithe build that was easily shown by his tight white t-shirt with a leafless tree, and dark forest green skinny jeans. His eyes were almond shaped, and were also coincidentally the same color as the nut—a nice light brown veined with a slightly dark brown. His hair was dark brown streaked with a dark red and arrayed messily around his head as if it was windblown. Even his skin was a light caramel brown. Everything about him was so…brown. Earthy.

“Hi, my name is James.” His was voice was deep and slow, calm even though it was belied by the grin stretched across his face.

I blinked at him. “Theodore.”

“Sorry.” He said abruptly. “I’m new here, and I just wanted to meet you. A lot of people…talk about you, you know.”

“I am well aware of what my peers think of me, thank you. However, I have been dealing with their ignorance for a very long time and not once has it bothered me.”

His head tilted to the side as his eyes searched my face. “Why not?”

“Why should it? Once I graduate, I highly doubt I will ever see any of these people ever again, so why should I waste my time being bothered by their immaturity and fear when I can spend all my focus and energy on more important, fulfilling things.”

“How…astute.”

“I would like to think so, yes.”

He blinked at me for a second, then threw his head back and laughed. “I’m sorry, it’s just—wow, you’re funny.”

My heart clenched briefly. “You think I’m funny?”

“Yup.” He nodded firmly. “Much different from how everyone keeps saying you are.”  


* * *

 

A shorter chapter than usual, but I have writer's block :/ Still comment tho!


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